Nobody’s perfect. Most know this phrase. Few truly understand it.
In a moment of weakness
I let my guard down
And she took advantage of me
Advantage of a past love
One with which I couldn’t cope.
For me it was a certainty
That there would be no forgiveness
That this fairy tale
Had an unlikely anti-climax
And yet you say
Despite my doubts,
Despite my mistakes,
You still love me,
Does that mean,
I can dare to dream
I can dare to hope
That we may bury this hatchet
That our story
May still have
A happy ending?
what happens when your intuition becomes your instinct?
You say you love me, but I hesitate to reply that I love you back, because you don’t know love like I know it. You just like to hear someone say they love you without knowing the true meaning of love.
You say you love, but with conditions, and expectations. That is not love, but attachment and it can only result in disappointment. You say you love someone but you expect them to do something or behave in a certain way in regards to you because you love them. What happens if the expectations are not met? You end up saying things like “you broke my heart”, and “I can never love again” but you were never even in love in the first place. Just an extended infatuation.
So when I hesitate to reply “I love you too”, it’s not because I don’t love you, it’s because I don’t think love means the same thing to both of us.
Realise the difference between being the center of attraction and being the center of attention.
If you love me buy me roses. It read. You read that text again and smirk. Manipulative little bitch. You take a final puff of the blunt and kill it. After some thought you go to buy the roses anyway because if you don’t you might as well not come home. And the roses come with complimentary gifts. Jewellery, lingerie maybe, you know, anything advertised in the media that because your girl likes it you should buy it for her this valentine’s. Like they give a shit. Just throwing a brother under the bus without batting an eyelid. After today they’re just going to prey on the next big occasion or holiday to cash in on. Greedy bastards. You arrive at the flower shop and it takes all you have to not puke. You hate roses, they smell like shit. These things should be left to grow in the wild. Does the rose know it’s considered the flower of love? Does it know that on a single day each year more roses are plucked and sold than probably all other days of the year combined(subject to research). And after that most people don’t touch a rose till a year later, you included. You start to curse the origins of valentine’s day when she texts to ask about the roses and “anything else”. She’s expecting a gift. “Yeah, buying them just now.” Send. Dammit. So you buy her the gift along with the roses. These millennials though, they’re quite something.
“Why is it that it’s the guys that are compelled show supposed acts of love to their girls?” You ask as you enter house. She sees you and comes running, all excited and shit. You hold back the roses and gift as you repeat the question. Her reply, a long French kiss as she grabs the roses. She remarks how the flowers have a beautiful smell as she walks to the couch completely disregarding anything you said. “Dafuq just happened?” you ask yourself, standing there, dazed, scratching your head. She is already dressed in the traditional red, that’s your cue. You don the outfit laid on the bed for you. Wow, she was actually serious about date night. All this to “celebrate love”, to celebrate a day whose origins you, and her do not even know. You go to the sitting room and find she has set it up for the night. She liked the gift, and told you to prepare for the night of nights. She said that last year too, so you have an idea what to expect. As if reading your mind, she tells you last valentine’s was just a taste. You can’t wait for dinner to be over. You make this known to her, and she gladly obliges.
But hold your horses. Is it really worth it? It feels like you’re being short-changed… Are you? But you can’t think of that right now, long night ahead.
Talk to you tomorrow then.